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Candid Coaching Chronicles: Let's Get Real

Alright, folks, strap in because today, we're delving into the nitty-gritty of what's really grinding my gears. Every coach knows exactly what I'm talking about – those moments when you just want to pull your hair out because someone you're working with isn't seeing the forest for the trees.



Now, before you think this is a venting session or a bash fest on clients, hold your horses. I'm all about airing out frustrations, but I'm also here to offer insights on handling these situations like a pro in the coaching world.  For me this article it’s about getting my thoughts on paper, it’s important to have clear cut expectations for people you work with.  For everyone else, If you’re a coach my hope are for you to read this and gain some insight on how to handle hard situation without letting it pull you down.  If you’re an athlete or parent reading this please allow this to give you perspective from a coaches eyes that has been doing this for more than a decade.  In the end there’s some valuable lessons that when embodied over the course of your athletic career and life for that matter it will make all the difference for you! 


Let's talk about the classic case of mismatched vibes between a coach and an athlete they work with. You could have all the knowledge in the world, but sometimes, personalities clash, or your coaching style just doesn't sync up with what the client needs. It happens, and it's okay to admit it. Sometimes, parting ways is the best move to ensure everyone finds their perfect match.  In the end they came to you for results and if you can’t provide it yourself send them in the direction that will.  Some times that means sending them to a therapist.  Sometime it means just sending them home and telling them to come back when they’re ready.  That sends a clear cut message that I don’t want your money if you’re not willing to buy into my system.  Simply because you know results are only produced when an athlete is bought in!


Now, I'm not here to throw shade at past clients who don’t fit like a glove into my coaching groove. This is more of a wake-up call for those who might need a little reality check. Depending solely on a coach for a pep talk or basing your self-worth on their praise? Yeah, that's a fast track to nowhere.


Insert tough love speech below




So, let's set the record straight. A coach's job isn't just to pump you up or hand out gold stars; it's about giving you the tools and guidance to own your journey. The real MVPs are the ones who show up, put in the work, and own their progress like a boss.  The coaches role is not to prop you up on a pedestal of fake praise and delusion only to let your realitiy be shattered down the line.  The coach needs to tell you the truth whether it hurts or not, and the truth is you’re responsible for your results, your value, your self-respect, your effort, and most of all you’re responsible for showing up and doing what you’re supposed to do.  When you reach that point where you fully embody that congratulation you’ve met our standard of what is expected out of you. 


In any coach-athlete dynamic, there are ground rules. Consistency, full-throttle energy, taking ownership, and keeping those lines of communication wide open – that's the secret sauce for success. Blaming others for your setbacks? Yeah, that's a one-way ticket to Nowheresville, my friends.  Even in situations where it could be completely justified to blame someone else, blaming that person will still get you nowhere.  Take responsible over your role in the equation.


But hey, it's not just about pointing fingers. As coaches, we've got to take a good, hard look in the mirror too. Even when we think we're crushing it, there's always room for improvement. This article isn't about throwing shade; it's about leveling up and owning our part in the game.


So, here's the bottom line: if you want get the most out of your training and the most out of your coach here’s what needs to happen.


1.     ask questions

2.     seek feedback, and act like your success depends on it – because guess what? It does.

3.     flip the script from playing the blame game to taking charge of our own destiny

4.     Show up every time you’re supposed to show up and don’t expect praise because you did.

5.     Learn to love the process of improvement

6.     You are responsible for your effort and motivate.  You are the only person who is responsible for that.



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